my 20 minutes for writing to someone I miss a lot

ok so someone I miss a lot is there are many like my old pets that have passed away and also older family members that I have met and some I never knew. so for sure, one word is my grandfather on my mom’s side I would love to sit down and talk to him to see what and how he feels of how everything that has happened after he passed away. so some back story my grandfather worked I believe in El Salvador government or military. one day my mother told me when she was little some strange men came to their home and told him if he did not go with them they would kill his family. so my grandfather left but never returned. some of you know the story of Emmit till they young African American boy that was killed inhumanely in the 19’0s I believe that year might not be right so yup. but how that found this body in the river and his fave all beat and decomposed. it was the same for my grandfather I have thought about this many times and also wonder what would have happened if my grandfather was still he or what would be my life now. would I even excite if my grandfather was alive? but I would like to tell him something that is always on my mind. what if he knew what was going to happen what would he do differently or just tell that was the will of God. I always felt that there is someone watching over my family because no matter what happens there is always someone to protect us from harm. there is a photo of me was a child in my little white dress in the front of my yard you see this giant white shadow of light behind me and my mother would say you can see your Guardians angle behind you. I believe that my Guardians are my older relatives just looking out for me as I grow up in this world.

My Life With Vitiligo

So I have and sometimes I still do get called all the names in the book. There was a boy who really liked to bully me; he call me a “cow, and feck and ask me when will the circus come and get you.” I have gone through a lot of ups and downs in and out of my life but elementary was hard some days overall I had a good time with some real friends, and teacher that supported me through all the though time but for anyone going through anything you need to talk about what and how you are feeling,or no one will know how to help you. so back to my story of how my vitiligo made me who I am today. I was the kid that people talked to when they had problems because I thought there is always a way to fix it. so once I was in 6th grade my friend told me her problem and I helped her then she turned her back on me started to tell me lies and I did not know this till my best friend told me and I was confused as to why she would say all these mean things about me like “I’m not her friend look at her she a cow.”, or “really you think I would hang out with that” and then one day she came to my face and told me “you know what the world would be a better place if ugly people like me with vitiligo would disperse”. she told me to “die.” I really thought she was my friend because before she knew anyone I was the only one to say hello and introduced her to some of my friends when she had no one. So I was hurt and ready to just leave and be gone fro the world. I was in the 6th grade after some time I told my mother all of what was happening and she really helps me get through all the mean and hurtful thing that one girl was telling the whole school. on the day of graduation of the 6th gade, I remember I was so excited because most of my family were coming to see me graduate, but while waiting to get my certificate the boy behind me said “why can’t you were a dress with sleeves your arms are ugly and it makes me want to puck”. I was so happy that day ,and I was not going to let that one person get me down but it still hurt me to know that someone thinks of me in that way when they look at me.

So once I moved to my middle school I was different they what some people knew me as I was an outgoing person as a kid but now I had changed in to a rather quiet but still very unique kind of kid. I was the kid that wanted to make friends and be in the “popular” kids group but I was never really going to be their I thought. And thought out middle school I was close with may people mostly the office staff and the kids in the grade about me so 8th graders but never the less I wanted to stand out a bit more. I thought, so I ran for an ASB secretary position in 7th grade but never got the job because only the well known and the popular kids where always chosen and so guys only choose by looks. Anyway I was still in ASB program. I had fun that year in 8th grade it was an amazing year because I decided to be in Avid and ASB so I could make more friends and try to get better at school. But most kid looked at me weird at first but then as the year went on they just didn’t notice. But on day they started asking what happened to your skin as if I had painted my body this way. I told them it a skin condition because at the time I did not know what it was called. Some doctors told my that my skin cells lack pigment for the skin or they tell me I was to fat and my skin did have enough pigment to cover my body that I need to lose weight. And that also hurt me a little chubby girl. My mother would tell me if you don’t like being fat then work on it lose the weight. But I was over what people thought.

And now I was going in to high school and that where I was no longer a shy flower I decided to get out there and try to meet new people. in my freshman year I met up with old friends from middle and elementary school and felt more confident in my self. I just wanted to be prest with this school for once. And since my bother was a year older then me I had now people older then me and they watched out for me as I went thought school.